Ah, there it is: proof positive that I’m certifiably loopy – another dream about Karen! Even though I’ve accepted any relationship with her as impossible, and she has already pulled away – in fact, I may not see her anymore – my brain still invents fantasies?
I wake up and I am in bed with Karen; we are nude. We are at her house, and all of her relatives, brothers, sisters-in-law, parents, etc. are there. Karen and I are in a large room. Karen is snuggled up with me, and I am telling her how long I have been in love with her. She seems a little shocked, but as I tell her of my fantasies, I am giving her little kisses on her face. She doesn’t stop me or pull away. The dream is very vivid. I can see her face clearly, and it is Karen. She smiles at me a lot. There is a lot of activity in the house, as it is late morning. We get up and I pull on some pants to look for a bathroom. I don’t see where Karen goes. There are two guys standing near the bathroom door, but I go in. I pull the door shut behind me, but it bounces open and I ignore it, as this is a large multi-use public-style bathroom. As I walk to the urinal the two guys come in and go somewhere else in there, but I am aware of them the whole time. I pee into a large round urinal, such as I have seen in public bathrooms, but this one is full of water and there are multiple objects floating around. Two of them look like miniature urinals, and I proceed to sink them with a long steady stream of piss, and then sink the other objects which are toy-like in appearance, like bathtub toys. The dream ends. (When I analyze the second part of the dream later, I think it was like a pissing contest, and I am trying to impress Karen’s relatives that I am still virile.)
Happy and Naked, art by: Zeeksie.
I awake fully aware of the details of the dream, and how happy I still feel. I am also very aware of reality, but the dream has pleased me no end. I am smiling, happy, content. I care about nothing else, and stay in bed late, until, 9:11 am. I had hiked ten miles over hilly, rocky and loose terrain yesterday, just like a week ago, and I needed a good rest.
No work today. I get up because there are things to do, especially pulling the rear wheel off the motorcycle so I can get a new tire. The bald tire has got to go. I might not survive the next fall on an icy or wet street. I am surprised that I care. I think that I have accepted my fantasy life as real, and it gives me peace.
How many of us live in fantasy worlds, and no one ever knows?