Forbidden Love


See more or buy this print from the artist, at:

In scarlet Town where I was born
There was a fair maid dwelling
Made many a youth cry well a day
Her name was Barbara Allen

It was in the merry month of May
When green buds they were swelling
Sweet William came from the west country
And he courted Barbara Allen

He sent his servent unto her
To the place where she was dwelling
Said my master’s sick, bids me call for you
If your name be Barbara Allen

Well, slowly, slowly got she up
And slowly went she nigh him
But all she said as she passed his bed
Young man I think you’re dying

Then lightly tripped she down the stairs
She heard those church bells tolling
And each bell seemed to say as it tolled
Hard-hearted Barbara Allen

O, mother, mother go make my bed
And make it long and narrow
Sweet William died for me today
I’ll die for him tomorrow

They buried Barbara in the old church yard
They buried Sweet William beside her
Out of his grave grew a red, red rose
And out of hers a briar

They grew and grew up the old church wall
Till they could grow no higher
And at the top twined a lover’s knot
The red rose and the briar.


7 Responses to “Forbidden Love”

  1. toabuckets Says:

    As they say, I can never know how you feel …

    I think of this as an IQ test that I am failing. 8 months ago I met a young Spanish beauty with long black curly hair. I was instantly smitten and offered to help her with her English if she would help me with my Spanish. Since then we have been meeting for 1-2 hours each week, phone calls, occasional e-mails and posts on Facebook. She is 30 years younger than me; here on a 1 year student visa from South America.

    One of her Facebook friends described her as a “good girl”, which translates into “no fooling around”. I have gone through all the same phases as you, and yet I sob in despair when I think about her going back to her home country in a few months. Music helps me some … I urge you to listen to Jośe Feliciano’s “Ain’t no sunshine when you’re gone”. May we both find peace.


    • O'Maolchathaigh Says:

      Yeah. If it was entirely dependent on IQ we’d be in serious trouble surviving day to day. Oddly enough, men seem to fall into this trap more than women, who usually think of a situation like this with the utmost disgust. Big age gaps seem to bother women a lot, even when they are not directly involved. I think it highly improbable a woman 30 years younger could ever be attracted to anyone that much older for even the briefest of romantic and/or sexual relationships, unless he’s the President of the United States, or some such, and even Clinton was vilified as being akin to a child molester.


  2. sudafeduberalles Says:

    I don’t think of older-man, younger-woman relationships with disgust. That’s not the feeling at all and a pretty unfair assesment of how middle aged women feel about this. It’s just that so often men leave older women for younger women. Our culture is so youth obsessed that older women feel pretty worthless. And Tom, you’ve written some pretty mean things about your ex-wife’s appearance–really nasty comments about her weight and face. Men have this double standard that they can age, get fat and still deserve some hot young thing. As if looks were all that mattered. Whenever women fall for younger men it becomes a joke of sorts–SNL recently did a sketch called “Cougar Den” that illustrates my point–as if women over 40 should all be content to be alone, perhaps sitting around knitting a blanket. I never thought Clinton was a child molester–his dalliance with Monica seemed shallow and stupid at best. And honestly I can forgive anyone who cheats on their partner because of love.
    Anyway, have you ever thought about zen Buddhism? I’ve been reading a few books on it lately. Since she seems like such an Asian enthusiast, perhaps it would be something you could talk to her about. A lot of the Japanese cartoons have the samurai mythos as a part of their storyline. I wish you well, of course. But I must say some of the women you’ve chosen to spend your time with seem like a pack of headcases–the cat lady, numerous alcoholics. I mean, what’s with all the drama queens? I believe it would be worth $150/hr with a therapist to get to the heart of your attractions. Also, could you perhaps have hypergraphia? I mean you well, please don’t get all defensive. N.


  3. sudafeduberalles Says:

    Do you really think she has Asperger’s? I was only skimming your blog and I didn’t get the details, but somehow I doubt her inability to maintain meaningful relationships is because she’s mildly autistic. Could you be rationalizing her rejection? Chances are she’s just a latent homosexual (hahaha).
    If I weren’t such an insomniac, I swear I’d not even be looking at this blog. Take care Tom, Tim, I forget.


  4. O'Maolchathaigh Says:

    Hey sudafed, Asperger’s covers a wide spectrum itself, so it’s a slight possibility, and actually, I felt it applied more to myself. It’s one way of looking at Karen’s behavior, but lately she doesn’t talk much anymore. It was just an observation. I know her rejection has to do with my age primarily, and she never wanted more than a vague friendship anyway. Now, she has to be careful not to encourage the old fart, so she’s quieter and doesn’t bring me any more videos or books, and doesn’t accept any books or videos from me. She says she has too many things to watch, read, and do. She’s lying, of course, because her answer to my question of what she does on most weekends is nothing. She’s lying about one or the other. I suspect, as well, that she is not attracted to men generally, as men her age repulse her, and older men are suspected perverts. Anyway, there never was or will be any reason for her to be attracted to me, so it doesn’t really matter. I learned not to ever do this again.


  5. O'Maolchathaigh Says:

    Re: disgust – I did receive exactly that comment on one of these posts – that the 30-year gap is disgusting. l’ve also been asked why would I persue younger women at all? I received many comments that I shouldn’t be going after younger women, and why the hell wasn’t I persuing women my age? I was trying to address that. Karen is the only woman her age I have, or would ever, consider. People fall in love for odd reasons, and all I was trying to say was that her age was not why I liked her so much. It is in fact the best reason not to want a relationship with her, but I was able to ignore that. Again, I think it is generally misunderstood why men leave women for younger women. 1.) a younger woman is more oblivious to his defects, and 2.) a younger woman enjoys sex more. Men like sex, which I think would be obvious, but older women frequently don’t find sex very important. Sometimes it follows childbirth; sometimes before, during, or after menopause, although for some women, menopause never ends. Like I said, if a woman doesn’t enjoy sex, she shouldn’t expect the man she lives with to give it up. If the man can have sex with someone else, then he is less likely to want to abandon his wife or partner. Of course, most women consider this some kind of betrayal. I think it is like this: unless a woman enjoys sex, her partner is going to look elsewhere. Not all men leave a woman for a younger woman; often it is just another woman, one that likes sex often, and he is not allowed to be married and see other women. I never said I found anything wrong with my wife’s appearance – I am simply observant. It had no effect on my desire for her – that is the point I made, and I thought, quite strongly. Men are not repulsed by their spouse’s age changes; love conquers all, after all. But rejection, through lack of affection and/or sex has a huge impact on men looking elsewhere. IMHO.


  6. O'Maolchathaigh Says:

    Companionship is one thing. Companionship without sex is another. Women have no idea how important sex is to men. I’m not buying into the idea that older women are frigid, but, in my experience, many are less interested in sex than men in general. Not all men leave women as they age anyway. I’ve read recently about thinning of the vaginal walls, causing tearing, and loss of vaginal secretion, so, for many women, sex is actually painful, so, rather than seek help they reject sex. Lubrication can help, and believe me, I was already using that with my ex. Even so, it was obvious she got little if any enjoyment from it. It was: hurry up and get it over with. All I said was that I have no reason to believe my chances of finding a woman my age who actually, truthfully enjoys sex, are very good. I’ve heard rumors that there are such women, but I don’t know. Like I tried to point out, men do love their companions, even without sex, but if they don’t have sex, they will either become frustrated and seek it elsewhere, or turn into disgruntled, grumpy old men.


Please Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.