Just Lunch


Saw Karen today. She didn’t send her usual email, short or long message, and she went to lunch earlier than usual. I never should have sent that last desperate plea for her to visit me before I left for Iowa. I was feeling so lonely and abandoned, so I wrote that in an email to her and asked her to stop by for a few minutes, have coffee, see the tree. I knew I was crossing that boundary again, but I felt so bad I didn’t care. Well, I wasn’t back from Iowa last Friday, so it’s been three weeks since I’ve seen her. I’ve wondered all this week if I’d hear from her today. I didn’t. I waited until 1:15 and headed over to the cafeteria anyway. She was alone there, reading. I wonder what I’ll think when she’s not alone?

Got my Frito pie with extra red chile all over it and went over to her. fritos.jpg ( They really don’t know what chile is in Iowa.) Karen didn’t seem particularly happy to see me, and I asked if she was busy reading. She misunderstood me, and showed me what she was reading, one of dragonflight.jpg Anne McCaffrey’s Pern books, Dragon Flight, I think. I’d read most of the Pern series so I knew I’d read it, but now I don’t remember which one it was. I bought Karen a nice stained-glass dragon one Christmas time. I sat down anyway, asked her how her holiday was. She said she was really busy, so I asked her, “Doing what?” She wouldn’t say, just, “Things.” Could be she was on a date or such and didn’t think that was any of my business, and, it’s not, I know. I was just curious. Anyway, she asked me about my trip, bill-richardson.jpg so I told her, in between shoveling in Fritos smothered in chicken, cheese and red chile. I was ravenous. 1:15 is later than I would prefer to wait for lunch. Anyway, Karen did get the tattoo she wanted, and showed it to me. It is above the one she has of a dragon on her ankle. This one is a Halloween theme, complete with bright orange and black, green, and yellow. $200.  Not too bad. She is very happy with it. I didn’t get to look at it very long, so I never even realized I could have looked at her leg too. Oh, well. Karen perked up a lot talking about the tattoo. Now she’ll be saving up for the next one. I wish I could buy one for her.

We talked a little politics, clintonobama.jpg but she had come early to lunch so she had to leave as soon as I finished eating. I walked up the hill with her and we wished each other a nice weekend.

I almost didn’t write about this at all; seems so low key, so normal, and so uninteresting to strangers. It made me happy of course. It’s good to have something in your life that is normal and somewhat routine too. And, of course, I like Karen. I didn’t feel that rush of feelings, emotional or sexual, that I’ve often had with Karen in the past, but I felt good. Just lunch with a friend. I won’t save this in the depression category today.

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6 Responses to “Just Lunch”

  1. jadenkale Says:

    Unrequited love is always the hardest to deal with. And your blog is not so uninteresting as you believe.

  2. O'Maolchathaigh Says:

    Thanks jadenkale; feedback is always appeciated. Wow! I like the looks of your site. Very cool.

  3. flakyguy Says:

    I look forward to seeing your posts especially about your meeting, not meeting, feelings, etc.

    I find myself in a similar situation. This weekend was a depressing one for me as she called me early Friday morning and promised to get back with me. I actually talked with her twice more Friday but never really significantly.

    I am 16 year older than she is, she has tatoos and I think she likes me a good deal. Problem is she sees me as more of a friend and well I could go for her in a second. More later.

  4. O'Maolchathaigh Says:

    16 years doesn’t seem like too much of a gap. IF you talked with her three times on Firday, it may be too soon to give up hope. Of course, I keep giving up all hope, but “hope springs eternal” it is said.

  5. sudafeduberalles Says:

    I think these May-December relationships are doomed to fail, if they even get off the ground. There just isn’t enough common ground to make them a reality–unless the woman has some serious “father issues”–in which case, I say run as fast as you can! Age differences are a lot about control, dominance and feeling superior. It’s all a mask for feelings of inadequacy. I have also seen this dynnamic where the woman is a bit older and/or has more money than the man. I have a friend whose husband is a complete doormat to his wife. He’s six years younger, not making very much money (she’s affluent being a naval officer’s widow and by virtue of her paren’t money, plus a few scams she pulls here and there). Sometimes she publicly humiliates him. Once she threatened to throw him out of “her house” if he didn’t behave while her parents were visiting. Anyway, he seems to love every minute of it–to the point where you have to wonder if there isn’t something seriously wrong with the guy–like Stockholm syndrome or???? . He’s German (does that fit into a stereotype?). Anyway, my point is, I am often dubious of relationships where there is a huge age/money gap.

  6. O'Maolchathaigh Says:

    I have heard this thing about control and dominance and wanting superiority before, and while there may be cases of that, somehow I don’t see it here. She is in control, not me, and I have no desire for control. I understand the suspicion of an age gap, but, in reality, she has no interest in having a serious relationship with any man my age, and has made it clear that she would never have a relationship with any man old enough to be her father. Friendship, apparently, is OK, only to a very limited extent. The rest is all my fantasy.


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