Saw Karen today. She didn’t send her usual email, short or long message, and she went to lunch earlier than usual. I never should have sent that last desperate plea for her to visit me before I left for Iowa. I was feeling so lonely and abandoned, so I wrote that in an email to her and asked her to stop by for a few minutes, have coffee, see the tree. I knew I was crossing that boundary again, but I felt so bad I didn’t care. Well, I wasn’t back from Iowa last Friday, so it’s been three weeks since I’ve seen her. I’ve wondered all this week if I’d hear from her today. I didn’t. I waited until 1:15 and headed over to the cafeteria anyway. She was alone there, reading. I wonder what I’ll think when she’s not alone?
Got my Frito pie with extra red chile all over it and went over to her. ( They really don’t know what chile is in Iowa.) Karen didn’t seem particularly happy to see me, and I asked if she was busy reading. She misunderstood me, and showed me what she was reading, one of Anne McCaffrey’s Pern books, Dragon Flight, I think. I’d read most of the Pern series so I knew I’d read it, but now I don’t remember which one it was. I bought Karen a nice stained-glass dragon one Christmas time. I sat down anyway, asked her how her holiday was. She said she was really busy, so I asked her, “Doing what?” She wouldn’t say, just, “Things.” Could be she was on a date or such and didn’t think that was any of my business, and, it’s not, I know. I was just curious. Anyway, she asked me about my trip, so I told her, in between shoveling in Fritos smothered in chicken, cheese and red chile. I was ravenous. 1:15 is later than I would prefer to wait for lunch. Anyway, Karen did get the tattoo she wanted, and showed it to me. It is above the one she has of a dragon on her ankle. This one is a Halloween theme, complete with bright orange and black, green, and yellow. $200. Not too bad. She is very happy with it. I didn’t get to look at it very long, so I never even realized I could have looked at her leg too. Oh, well. Karen perked up a lot talking about the tattoo. Now she’ll be saving up for the next one. I wish I could buy one for her.
I almost didn’t write about this at all; seems so low key, so normal, and so uninteresting to strangers. It made me happy of course. It’s good to have something in your life that is normal and somewhat routine too. And, of course, I like Karen. I didn’t feel that rush of feelings, emotional or sexual, that I’ve often had with Karen in the past, but I felt good. Just lunch with a friend. I won’t save this in the depression category today.