December 14, 2007
Heard from “her” today. So we had lunch. Always a pleasure. The tension is gone now. She seemed more relaxed. I was relaxed.
“Hi T, I will be going to lunch about 1-ish today.”
She sent me pictures the other day of her office door she and another woman decorated. They won 1st place in the decoration contest – and it is all hand made. She is very creative and talented, I think.
“She” looked lovely as usual. I told her her haircut makes her look older. She said, “Good! Maybe it’ll keep the perverts away!” She told me about the older guy whom she’d dated (turned out to be married) who’d also dated his high school students. Certainly a pervert, and he got caught. She told me about this a long time ago, but for some reason I repressed the entire thing. We talked about age differences. She thinks women in their 20s shouldn’t date anyone in their 50s. Not that it’s anyone’s business what other people do, but it’s not for her. She could not date anyone old enough to be her father. She says that perhaps it’s not bad for a woman in her 30s to date older men. Well, we didn’t talk about us directly, but we seemed to cover everything that’d been on my mind. Talked about anime some too. Lunchtime went by quickly; I was surprised when the hour was almost up. We enjoyed each other’s company and conversation, and what more could I possibly hope for from this bright, young and beautiful woman? At least I know where I stand.
I don’t know what I want anyway. I wanted her, but that’ll never happen. I still don’t want to date anyone else, don’t want to even go out much at all. It’s a good thing I’m going to Iowa over the Xmas break. I’d probably have just stayed home, withdrawn into my little cocoon for 12 days. Probably still go for solitary walks. Nothing else seems very inviting. That’s the good thing about being in a relationship: you always find things to do together because you want to do things together. It’s fun and such a pleasure to enjoy things with another person. One does not need to always be with someone, but it certainly can be very nice.