Oct. 20, 2007
And how are you tonight, Karen, my beautiful sexy limerent object? Still an object of limerence to me. I don’t know why I persist in this fantasy that we can ever be together. Saw the movie Stardust tonight. There’s another fool in love with a woman whom he cannot have, but at least he meets up with someone whom he can, and she loves him too. I know, romantic, huh? I suppose you are not alone in not being all that romantic. I find myself disbelieving in it from time to time. But then there’s you. I have convinced myself that I’m in love with you. That would be romantic, but how can unrequited love be real? Feels real, but it’s all in my head. I guess romance is too. ‘Tis nice when two people share the romantic fantasy – certainly makes life seem joyous and fantastic. But, of course, it wouldn’t bother me if you didn’t feel romantic. As long as we could be together a bit more, I’d be very happy. My romantic fantasy would be satisfied, and I’d do whatever it took to make you happy. Just rambling along tonight. Sent you a short email, but since you never respond, I don’t even look for replies anymore. It’s a nice night; the moon is only half, but it is bright and clear, There’s a smell of woodsmoke in the neighborhood. I stopped at a Japanese restaurant on the way home from the movie and had some warm sake. I suppose that could be having this effect on my mood. I feel good. I wish I could have shared that bento you said you wanted to have this weekend. I love Japanese food as well, and I offered to share when you said you needed someone to share. I wish I knew what was so wrong with that. We could see movies together, share meals, share fun. I find myself wishing for a miracle, something like in a novel or a movie where time is suspended, or someone gets their impossible wish granted through some magic. I find myself hoping for magic like that. I’d start my life over for you. Take a youth potion. Go forward in time to when you were older. It’s amazing to feel this way. I don’t want to stop, even in the face of your indifference. You have every right to turn a deaf ear to my pleas. Certainly you deserve better. And, given your loveliness and sex appeal, it won’t take too very long for you to find someone. Well, I’m becoming maudlin, bringing myself down a bit from my sake high. Better leave this as it is.