August 13, 2007
Friday has been my favorite day for a long time, and not for the usual reason. Actually, my weekends have been full of hard work in sometimes brutal weather, and little joy or fun. However, meeting Karen for lunch on Friday is the highlight of my week. It’s only an hour, and we no longer walk to a different location each week, but seeing Karen is all I need to get through the weekend, and the following week. We’ve missed a few Fridays of late, and I wondered if that was going to be the new pattern, and if it signaled the coming end of these lunches together. It doesn’t! Karen is often busy on Fridays, and just as I’d given up this past Friday, after not having seen her or heard from her the week before, she suddenly sent me an email at the last possible moment. Such a feeling!
Karen looked wonderful of course. We ate quickly and went off to find some good coffee. We talked, and I can’t remember much of it, but when we talked we smiled at each other, and there was such a feeling of camaraderie and connection. I just can’t understand why it has to be that we can’t date, can’t meet away from work, can’t be lovers. Sigh. She did ask me if we’d see each other next week, with a big smile on her face. I hope I said yes. I remember basking in her smile and floating a little. I called to her, as she turned to walk away, to repeat my invitation to stop by and check out the new place sometime. At least she didn’t say no, and she kept smiling.
Of interest to me is having a child with Karen (in my wildest dreams!). She talks about her nieces a lot, so I asked her if she was wanting one of her own. Her answer shocked me. She doesn’t want to go through childbirth! She does not want to experience the process or pain at all. Not just the natural birth part, but, not even a c-section. Turns out, not only is she adopted, but so is her whole family! Karen wants to adopt! Interesting. She greatly admires her parents for doing that, so her rejection of pregnancy is buttressed by her desire to adopt. Hmm. Interestingly, when I was younger, my goal was never to have children, but to adopt only. I’d given that up, but the women I’ve met and married already had kids, and either wouldn’t have more, or couldn’t. Of course, it seems like a silly idea to raise children at my age, but meeting someone young like Karen has rekindled that desire, especially since I’m so in love with her. Well, Karen, tell you what: I’ll raise adopted kids with you. The happiness I’d have being with you would obliterate any need for our children to be my biological offspring.
Now, if only we could do something about this age difference! If only it didn’t matter!