June 06, 2007
The dragon has changed her mind again. First she said she really thought we should go our separate ways, even without counseling or any attempt at staying together. I felt counseling is called for. Then, she said she wanted a quit-claim signed to give her complete ownership of the house; we could stay married if she had that. If I wanted compensation, then that meant we would divorce; give her a figure. Some choice. I even offered to sign the quit claim, if she signed a statement giving me compensation should we “go our separate ways” in the future. She said, just a few days ago, that that would be fine. OK then. I needed to work on it. However, then she said she thought about it, and every man she ‘s ever been with has tried to get money from her, and she wasn’t going to do it anymore. No counseling, no nothing. She spoke with a lawyer who says, even in a community property state, she should get the house, I get to keep my pension fund, and we’re even. It’s not true, but she believes it. In addition, she wants me to move out, and continue to pay the bills until she finds a job. Sheesh. Sorry, I can’t afford to do that. She thinks I’m made of money. Now she’s accusing me of deliberately taking her name off of an (empty) savings account that was recently integrated into my checking account. Apparently I’ve been hiding money, was ready to leave her, and didn’t want her to have access to our savings? On top of this she’s accusing me of going behind her back to drive a wedge between her and her daughter! She even started to intimate that there was something improper about me talking to my step daughter at all! Especially about our marital problems, but perhaps I shouldn’t have been talking to someone that age anyway (23)! It all smacks of paranoia, -> (Paranoia by Maria Burd)
perhaps worse. Do I need to get away from this woman? Yes! Can I afford to? No. Why the complete lack of trust, accusations of lying, and sneaking around behind her back? Is she crazy? I wonder now. Perhaps the booze has finally begun rotting her brain, or her liver has begun to fail, and it’s affecting her mental state? I don’t know. She refused counseling for us, or for herself, even when she was depressed for three years over her daughter’s brain tumor (tumor is gone, step daughter in perfect health).
Karen: . I need that fantasy more than ever, even though I know it’s hopeless. An organization was selling flowers today to benefit a malaria project that buys netting with the money. I thought about getting some for the dragon, but she already wants nothing more to do with me, so I bought two for Karen. I dropped ’em off at her desk. She wasn’t around. I sent her an email, and marked it as needing a response, so that she would let me know she got them. Her response? ” I got them. Thanks.” Well, at least she acknowledged that she got them. And she actually said thanks. At this point, that’s way, way more than I could get from the dragon.