Mindlessness; self-destruct countdown.


May 20, 2007

lifesupport.jpg I am troubled by being out of my mind. Were this not an unrequited “love” I wouldn’t mind being madly in love.

I emailed Karen Friday night, worried because she was going to meet online friends on Saturday that she hadn’t met before, and asked her if she felt she could trust them, making it clear that I was worried about her. I must have sounded like her father. I also let her know that the dragon doesn’t feel what she does anymore is any of my business, so my business must be of no concern to her either. I didn’t want to come out and say, “My marriage is over, let us rejoice and get together,” because that would certainly freak her out. And, it may not be entirely true. But, as always, Karen doesn’t reply to any message that isn’t about going to lunch.

The guy who runs the coffee cart at work is like a bartender the way he has people confide in him, kart.jpg so I mentioned this strange falling out with my wife, and I mentioned that, “I’m in love with Karen” to him. He looked really surprised, as he knows her, is friends with her, (they trade books) and he knows the guy at the cafeteria she goes out with too, so this may well come back to bite me on the ass real soon.  I don’t know why I said that to him.  I think I wanted someone to know, and see their reaction.  This will probably make its way back to Karen.  I can almost feel the explosion that’ll bring.

I seem to be in self-destruct.gif self-destruct mode. self-destruct-button.jpg

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