May 18, 2007 (part 2)
Aiee! I didn’t find the dragon at home when I got here, which is not unusual lately, as she has not been talking to me, and going to movies and such on her own. It’s happened before, but of course we’ve never seriously considered separation before. She asked me Sunday if I was happy, and by saying I could be happier, she took that to mean we’ve finished. I suppose that’s true, especially if you’ve read some of the things I’ve said here. However, we’ve haven’t discussed anything else since then. Can’t just move out overnight, as I can’t keep paying the mortgage and rent a place to live too. The dragon has moved out of the bedroom into one of the empty bedrooms. Actually she took over both of the kids bedrooms; she uses one for watching TV and exercising, and now she sleeps in the other. It’s odd that we really haven’t talked. At any rate, we love to Salsa dance, and there was a free concert tonight – I thought she’d want to go, but she wasn’t home when I got off work. I waited a little bit, but it was only going to last until 9pm, so I headed down there, actually expecting to see her there – she had dog-eared the newspaper page with the ad for the concert, or at least it looked like she had. Anyway, I didn’t see her, so I called her cell. When she answered I asked what she was up to, casually, so I could see if she was coming or wanted to come. I didn’t see any reason why we couldn’t be civil, and make the best of things for now. No, she was angry that I even asked that: “It’s none of your business!” But, I asked her if she wanted to come by the concert anyway, and the answer was: “No, no I don’t.” This is why I have such a hard time with her anymore; it’s been getting worse and worse, and with greater frequency, and I’ve been getting unhappier each time. I guess my tolerance has been exceeded, and she’s given up too. She’s become impossible to deal with anymore. She doesn’t listen closely to anything I say, and remembers things I couldn’t possibly have said. I think all the alcohol is affecting her judgment. I drink much less now; it doesn’t appeal to me as much as it once did. She likes to drink, so I tried keeping up with her. It was too much for me. I had to cut back. Now she falls asleep quickly and I can hardly sleep. We have split off in different directions. So, I guess that’s that.