May 14, 2007
Wow! Out of the blue, on the way home from a Mother’s Day dinner with her kids, the dragon asks me if I could live alone; I say yes. That seemed to surprise her, so she wanted to know if I was happy, and I said, “I could be happier.” I simply cannot lie when asked a direct question. A lot of discussion followed that. She wanted to know if I hated her; I had to tell her, no, I didn’t hate her. She asked if this is why I didn’t call her when she was out of town, and I had to say it was. After all, I didn’t miss her, and I enjoyed the time alone. She could have spent months away. She wants to know when I want to split up, “… a day, a week, a month, three months?” and I just told her I hadn’t given it that much thought. I wasn’t planning to do anything soon. She had already told me she wouldn’t want us to live together as roommates. I’ve still got to finish the house renovations, and the dragon doesn’t have another job yet. In truth, I had thought about it, but not specifically when. There’s so much to do to separate our lives, chief among them the house. How much is mine, and hers? How do we determine that? I’m not going to walk out and leave all my work on that house behind. I also have put money into the house, sold my old house and used that money to not only pay off some of my debt, but some of hers as well. In a community property state, we each have a claim on half of everything acquired during our marriage. Were I younger and much further from retirement, I wouldn’t care too much. As it is, she will not be able to pony up half of the house’s value to buy me out, and she’s not going to leave that house either. I mentioned that to her before this, and she said, “Don’t worry about that.” I certainly don’t want to start all over again at my age. A new 30-year mortgage? Holy crap! I’ll never be able to retire, ever. Now I have to think about where to move to, especially finding a place with a protective fenced yard for the cats, if I could even move them without them running away in a new neighborhood. The dragon hates cats, and I can’t leave them with her, even though they were born and raised in that yard. I don’t see how the dragon can borrow enough money to buy me out, and still pay the mortgage too. We still owe $37,600 on the house. She doesn’t even have the prospect of a job yet, and she doesn’t want a hard job, just one with minimal duties and responsibilities. She’ll need a good job now, but can she even get one?