Comments solicited

April 16, 2007 (part 2)

comments.jpg No one, in the two months I’ve been writing this blog, has ever left me a comment. It makes me wonder:

1.) Is this just all too common, and therefore boring?

2.) Am I just really boring period?

3.) Do I seem to be a pervert?

4.) Do I seem too passive in this affair of the heart?

5.) Is there anything in this tale of love, such as it is, that appeals to anyone?

I’ll happily keep plugging away at this, but I don’t know if I’ll have any epiphanies or other inspirations through it. Don’t know if anything will change. The marriage is certainly cracking up. I’m OK with that. Oddly enough, I’m OK with living on my own. There’s just something odd about my behavior, and I thought by now someone would have told me that, at least. Ah, well. No news about “her” to report. Going back in time, I remember her saying she’d been with or dated an older man before – that gave me hope initially that she found me attractive. Kind of a stretch perhaps, but why did she say it?

Why walk with me to lunch every Friday, for two years, even waiting for me without contacting each other? Even when she was not working, she’d come in just to have lunch with me. Somehow, I took that to mean something, but perhaps I’m just too old to accept close friendships with women as normal, and not be turned on? I don’t know. The more I saw her, listened to her, the more I wanted to be with her. One hour a week is all I could have, no back and forth emails, phone calls, or lunch on another day. No desire on her part to meet over the Xmas break either. I don’t know why I should have let myself fall for her. Can’t figure it out. Sexual attractions can do that, but, is there more to it? or just a strange perverted need within me to care for someone that likes me, that cares for me?


3 Responses to “Comments solicited”

  1. kowshik Says:

    Interesting epilogue after your comments solicitation! I can understand one thing about commenting, if you comment others, they respond but it counts only 50%.

    About K, I can say only that it is in the preliminary phase. You did not mention the duration, how long you both are in lunch episode?


  2. O'Maolchathaigh Says:

    We’ve been going to lunch over two years. We met some time before that, at a department Xmas potluck, and then exchanged comments as she worked sorting the department’s mail. Saw her often and said hello, complimented her on her tattoos, which she was happy to show off. I eventually asked her if she’d like to go for lunch and we’ve been having lunch most every Friday since.


  3. kowshik Says:

    Your feeling for her is very profound. I really appreciate that. Although the next step is still not taken, it is clear that she understands your feeling very well. She is not acknowledging that, perhaps for another reason which you need to explore. Every relationship is of a unique combination, sometimes we need to prioritize one over other. This is superb that you are letting yourself to feel her – perhaps love is nested in there with its full beauty; to me the journey towards love is divine! Good Luck Bro!


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