#4 March 07, 2007
Unrequited love and obsession go hand in hand certainly. Being obsessive means I don’t always live in the present. Time flows forwards, backwards, or skips around like a bad time travel experiment. It should come as no surprise that I’m thinking about Valentine’s Day three weeks ago. I love Karen, as I’ve said, and I have been in love with her for almost two years. I didn’t do anything last year, but this year I was determined to do something. I already had reservations at the Rancher’s Club for myself and the dragon, although, of course, I’d rather have been taking Karen. Nevertheless, Karen wasn’t going to go out with me anyway. A friend of the dragon’s had sent her tulips. I knew I was committed to giving flowers as well, and tulips wouldn’t do now, even though a red tulip signifies romantic love. I knew the dragon wouldn’t settle for less than roses. Well, I could buy an extra one for Karen, but that didn’t feel right. Of course, I shouldn’t be in love with someone else, shouldn’t be thinking of two women on Valentine’s Day, but, hey I am. Can’t get flowers ahead of time – where would I keep ’em? I finally decide on getting a rose for Karen the night before. First I send her an electronic greeting card with a non-romantic message: just that I enjoyed seeing her smile. I picked out a long-stemmed white yellow-tipped rose. Red is for passion, and white is for love, so I had to go with yellowish for friendship, if Karen is aware of the meanings. Didn’t want to freak her out too much. So I bring the long-stemmed yellow rose to work folded in my bike bag. I run it up the hill past the cafeteria where Karen’s date from the week before works. Karen smiles at me as I walk in, and I give it to her. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” is all I can say. I wanted to include a poem about the red rose and the white rose, but decided against it. She is smiling as she says, “And it’s long-stemmed too.” I scooted off back to work. Never heard another word about it. Picked up roses for the dragon on the way home. She liked them a lot.